BIG HORN, WY | A Wyoming man who celebrated his 103rd birthday yesterday has vowed to lose his virginity before his death, claims the family of the century-old man.
After blowing out the 103 candles on his birthday cake yesterday, the old man reportedly told his family his desire to “get laid” for the first time before ending up six feet under.
“Let’s just say it took us by surprise,” admits his niece, Laura Atkins. “We did not expect this at all! But when he told us, we gave ourselves the mission to do everything in our power to fulfill his wish,” she told local reporters. “He has done so much for us and our community, we may as well help him dip his wick once in his life” acknowledges his great-nephew, Anthony Atkins.
The family has faced several obstacles since the beginning of their quest for a sexual partner for the old man.
“In Big Horn, we’ve got tons of horny women, but escorts don’t grow on trees!” says with a laugh 24-year-old Johnny Atkins. “There is only one prostitute in town, but she just won’t have sex with the old geezer, even for $200, she won’t give him a blowjob” he admits, visibly annoyed.
Over $600 for an escort
A woman from the region has proposed her services after hearing about the unusual demand on social networks.
“There is a woman living out in Owl Creek, a few hundred miles out of here, but she’s charging us 600$ and that doesn’t include transportation, lodging and food,” claims another family member. “And we don’t know how long the sex is going to last, over $600 for 30 seconds of pleasure is a heck of a price to pay!” he acknowledges. “But hey, we don’t really have a choice!” he adds. “We’re just afraid the old man’s heart won’t survive the banging, but hey, it’s a risk worth taking,” he admits with concern.
103-year-old Barnum Atkins never married after being ordained a priest and finally pastor of the Saint John the Baptist Church for over 53 years, from 1926 to 1979.
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